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2008 "School of Hard Knocks" Award


PeterB

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This is a fun little award, created last year, which will be presented at the Holiday Party, to celebrate the club member who suffered the most damage to dignity, limb and property while paddling. The rules (made up on the spot, perhaps under the influence of strong waters) dictate that each years recipient select the next years winner.

Last year’s award went to…. ME.

(to give you an idea of what may qualify to win the award)

I was surfed up onto a barnacle -covered rock, caved in my hull in three places, split the hull/deck seam along about 12 inches, initiating an impromptu boat repair workshop on the beach (float bags, and lots of denzo and duct tape) and , weeks later, a fiberglass and gel coat orgy resulting in a boat that must be 10 pounds heavier than before. To add to the indignity of it all, I had abraded my palm pushing off to extricate myself from my bed of barnacles , and later showed up at an evening event with a heavily bandaged hand. Needless to say, word spread rapidly.

SO:

if any of you have any 2008 tales of woe involving busted boats, boats flying off of cars, paddles run over in parking lots, bodily or psychic injury, keys locked in cars, or any other kayak misadventures , please share them here. Or you may send a personal message to me if you desire confidentiality or wish to preserve some measure of dignity to the nominee, at least until the party when the inevitable indignities will be administered.

"Lifetime achievement" (serial incidents over the course of the year ) will be considered .

If I receive no nominations I will select the 2008 winner by executive decision. Please submit stories/nominations by Nov. 25th, so that the award ( a rock with winners names inscribed) may be prepared in time for the Holiday Party

Wishing you a safe Holiday season!

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(to give you an idea of what may qualify to win the award)

I was surfed up onto a barnacle -covered rock, caved in my hull in three places, split the hull/deck seam along about 12 inches,

This was in addition to the Explorer wacking?

If stuff comes in threes, this does not bode well for the Cetus. <g>

Ed Lawson

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I learned that day that Brad is officially certifiable (well, I already knew that I guess... but that just supported my beliefs).

Cheers, Joe

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I know there must be more tales of woe and/or unique learning experiences from this year to share! This is not normally a shy group! (moving to the top :P )

post-100437-1226953905_thumb.jpg

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I know there must be more tales of woe and/or unique learning experiences from this year to share! This is not normally a shy group! (moving to the top :P )

I'll put in my own entry...

5 days after buying my new car (which I selected primarily for its fuel economy and kayak carrying ability) got nailed by a pipe that had't been secured properly (looked like it was the type of galvanized pipe for sineage, not for plumbing). The car was in the shop for a month. I got it back for a month and then whilst at a pool session my car got broken into. Car gone for another month. A few weeks after getting it back I was headed towards New England Small Craft when a piece of ice or a rock (something very hard) fell off the top of a construction truck and nailed my windshield (which of course had to be replaced... at least with that they did it in my driveway).

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SO:

if any of you have any 2008 tales of woe involving, boats flying off of cars,

Pete,

You've not referring to my 5 day-old Cetus' decision to try sailing off my roof, are ya?

Ern

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SO:

if any of you have any 2008 tales of woe involving, boats flying off of cars,

Pete,

You've not referring to my 5 day-old Cetus' decision to try sailing off my roof, are ya?

Ern

Not specifically, but that sounds like an excellent nomination . Are you nominating yourself?

There have been some fine nominations so far. Keep them coming.

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Not specifically, but that sounds like an excellent nomination . Are you nominating yourself?

Hi Pete,

Sure. Even have Bob B and Adam B as witnesses. Leonardo dV would've been proud.

Ern

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Not specifically, but that sounds like an excellent nomination . Are you nominating yourself?

Hi Pete,

Sure. Even have Bob B and Adam B as witnesses. Leonardo dV would've been proud.

Ern

Well if Ern's mishap qualifies, so must mine: I'm leaving Lane's Cove and decide to make things easier on myself and drive the Forester down the concrete ramp and over to the beach. The Explorer is waiting patiently bobbing from side to side in the in coming tide. Backing the vehicle up to the water line and fixing my extension bar under the factory front bar on the Forester I pick up the bow and begin to drag the stern as far as it will go before grinding on some gravel and rocks in the water. The bow is now resting uncomfortably at about 40 degrees from the horizontal on the padded extension bar. The wind is gusting quite a bit now and when I pick up the stern pushing it over my head the bow twists and falls off the bar and comes crashing down on the beach. With arms still over my head and the thrust of that fall now upon my wet hands, the stern begins it's rapid descent only interrupted by my head. Serious neck pain has remained as a reminder of that day to this. Oh, yes the Explorer didn't suffer a scratch, just some additional paint it picked up from the side of the Forester. Lesson learned: Don't try and catch an Explorer with your head!

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Here is an entry on behalf of Karen Gladstone. I am deliberately omitting the story as a challenge -- see if you can explain what happened.

--David.

Wow, I think that we have, a winner. Sorry about the boat, I hope that nobody was hurt.

-Jason
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I'm wondering if the boat was in the water when this mishap occurred.

Perhaps inadvertently drifting in between the dock and the piling ... or

Perhaps a parallel parking attempt gone horribly wrong...

I'm thinking this would take the RWS Denso tape AND the School of Hard Knocks awards.

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RE: Karen's crushing story... Looks like the kayak was tied to the dock and a large boat decided to park in the same spot not seeing the kayak a few inches from the surface. Insurance should get you a new boat. Congratulations.

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Here is an entry on behalf of Karen Gladstone. I am deliberately omitting the story as a challenge -- see if you can explain what happened.

--David.

WOW - needs a bit more structural support than foam core can provide!

I think you found a winner - even more so than the flying Cetus as that was repairable.

Suz

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Most of my ocean related experiences were pleasant this year.

My worst moment was when I was working on a stroke called the "cross bow draw" in the Charles River. I was marveling at how effective it was at turning the kayak, when "whoops!", I capsized. In an instant, underwater, I thought about all the e-coli, geese poop and lord knows what else was floating around there. This was before I even rolled up.

I then paddled back to the parking lot in a dead-sprint, and basically stripped naked and got back into my jeans. I wondered why there were all these guys parked in cars, just sitting in their front seats looking at me. I later heard from someone at the Charles River Canoe and Kayak that the parking lot was a gay cruising spot.

I drove immediately to CVS, and got a bottle of Listerine, rubbing alcohol, boric acid eye wash and anything vaguely looking like a disinfectant. I drove home, showered and dosed up on disinfectants for every possible point of entry of germs. When my wife got home, she said that the bathroom smelled like a chemical factory.

Maybe not the hard-knocks you are thinking of, but I'll never "push it" again in the Charles.

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Ouch! It hurts to even look at that. Was it an encounter with a vengeful giant squid?

Here is an entry on behalf of Karen Gladstone. I am deliberately omitting the story as a challenge -- see if you can explain what happened.

--David.

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Here is an entry on behalf of Karen Gladstone. I am deliberately omitting the story as a challenge -- see if you can explain what happened.

--David.

The photos are enough to make a grown man cry...Here's my guess. The kayak was on the dock with the stern hanging off and a boat pulled up to the dock crunching the kayak against the piling.

In any case Karen, I hope you got a new boat out of the whole mess.

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The photos are enough to make a grown man cry...Here's my guess. The kayak was on the dock with the stern hanging off and a boat pulled up to the dock crunching the kayak against the piling.

In any case Karen, I hope you got a new boat out of the whole mess.

I'll leave it to Karen to describe her new boat. But I will say that nobody has gotten the explanation altogether correct yet. Hint... it's really quite simple, involving very normal events. And when you hear it, you'll realize it could have happened to you!

Those who know the story from Karen, I hope you'll continue to refrain.

--David.

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I got it...Floating dock. Gangplank on wheels. Rising tide. As the tide rose, the gangway rolled up against the boat and pushed it against the pilings. Yup, could easily happen to anyone.

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I got it...Floating dock. Gangplank on wheels. Rising tide. As the tide rose, the gangway rolled up against the boat and pushed it against the pilings. Yup, could easily happen to anyone.

Not quite... but getting warm. Remember, simple. One more hint... you'd feel kinda d'oh! Karen did.

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How about this...the boat is on the floating dock and the stern was tied off to the piling and the tide lifted the dock.

Bingo!

It was tied to pilings at both ends, I assume. Othrwise, it would have simply lifted the untied end in the air, and maybe caused a slo-mo endo.

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