2014 School of Hard Knocks Award !

[PeterB]

This is a fun little award, created in 2007 , which will be presented at the Holiday Party, to celebrate the club member who suffered the most damage to dignity, limb and property while paddling.

2013 Bill Harter (hull damage requiring more than the usual remediation)

2012 Scott Kimball (a rocky assault on boat hull, requiring the services of New England's finest repair professionals )

2011 Rick Stoehrer (a misadventure with a whirlpool during a rescue)
2010 Glen Cowley ( a series of unplanned meetings with rocks)

2009 Lisa Huntington (drove her car into a low garage with a kayak on top , or something like that)

2008 Karen Gladstone: (boat tied to a dock, ripped apart by rising tide: spectacular! )
2007 Peter Brady: (caved-in hull on rocks followed by barnacle abrasions on hands).

SO:
if any of you have any 2014 Tales of Woe involving busted boats, boats flying off of cars, paddles run over in parking lots, bodily or psychic injury(as long as you lived to joke about it later), keys locked in cars, or any other kayak misadventures, please share them here. Or you may send a personal message to me if you desire confidentiality or wish to preserve some measure of dignity to the nominee, at least until the party when the inevitable indignities will be administered.

"Lifetime achievement" (serial incidents over the course of the year ) will be considered .

Please submit stories/nominations by November 23rd , to Peter Brady (PeterB by PM on the message board, or pbrady@neaq.org by personal email) so that the award (a rock with winners names inscribed) may be prepared in time for the Holiday Party

Wishing you a safe Holiday season!

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[Pintail]

Geez, it is so long since I have seen Mr. Stoehrer, that I did not know or remember about his award for being sucked into a whirlpool! Did he live to tell the tale -- or was the award made posthumously? Where may I read these tales of woe? I do remember Karen's sad "rising-tide" story and Lisa's kayak "driven into the low, overhead garage door" (or whatever); but not the others...

Edited November 15, 2014 by Pintail

[Phil Allen]

K. Beckwith for separating the rear of his boat from the rest at the rear bulkhead.

Best

Phil

[josko]

Do two broken ribs and a cracked stenum count? It was a classic: 'Oh, this wave can't do anyrthing to me' gone very wrong. Knocked the back of the boat almost clean off.

Edited November 15, 2014 by josko

[PeterB]

Josko,

Broken ribs and boats most certainly qualify for the Hard Knocks award provided that your misadventures are now recalled with some measure of good humor.

It looks like a banner year for the Hard Knocks Award, Competition is intense!

Christopher,

I can attest that Mr. Stoehrer is still alive, and survived his whirlpool misadventure, which I believe occurred near Cobscoook Reversing Falls, where you and I might have been tickled by a whirlpool or two. One way to catch up on all the details of these tales of Woe would be to come to the Holiday Party!

[Pintail]

PeterB -- would love to be able to attend; but am always working Saturdays! For shame...

[Katherine]

Christopher, I work Saturdays as well. The party is in the evening - surely you will be able to attend.

[nancysan]

Hoping to see you Mr. Pintail (depending on if I can make it, myself ;-)

[prudenceb]

I had thought that a broken thumb incurred in process of removing from car just reoutfitted boat picked up that morning from Carl Ladd that I hadn't even paddled - thus wiping out entire fall paddling season ( two and a ahalf months!) including 30 already planned days on the water - might qualify, but I hereby gracefully concede to Josko, altho I do note that it was apparently still possible for him to paddle with cracked ribs etc - even as far as Labrador! I found, and my surgeon and OT concurred, that without the working opposable thumb with which one has grown up one should stay out of a kayak, unless one is being towed all day!

pru

[nancysan]

You, Pru, have my vote!

[Katherine]

& then there was my experience in the current. ..

[prudenceb]

Near death experiences I do think count for A LOT!

pru

[Gcosloy]

I find it remarkable that what had started as a fun award for misadventures on the water has morphed into a contest for the most serious happening including bodily harm as well as flying fiberglass. I too have a submission this year which I thought was most dramatic and would pale the competition but now after hearing about Josko and remembering Katherine's scary adventure in the current I'm no longer confident of gaining the coveted award. Does this years rise in competition signal a fundamental change in some of our member's behavior paddling: More chance taking, more risky adventures, or just more dumb luck. Something to think about!

Edited November 22, 2014 by GCosloy

[Doug]

I may be wrong but I recall in the past, these nominations were sent quietly by PM to Peter then voted upon by the BOD. I also recall the nominations were given to others rather than paddlers nominating themselves.

This is a strange morph of events. Perhaps we should post on Facebook (NOT) and award the person with the most "Likes". Haha!

Doug

[Inverseyourself]

And we should introduce mandatory GoPro documentation of the carnage as well as a copy of the doctor's note. Anyone can make up stuff

[Katherine]

Hi,

I'm just having fun... No seriousness meant..

Gene, I think we all are being light-hearted, I could be incorrect.

Happy season of giving thanks all,

[Dan Foster]

One of my favorite off-season reads is Sea Kayaker's Deep Trouble, which presents lessons learned from kayaking incident reports. In fact, an NSPN forum post about a Plum Island incident a number of years ago was probably how I first became aware of this great group. Having some of these Hard Knocks stories (and even some minor mishaps that have a teachable lesson in them) from over the years written up, anonymized, and made into an anthology (NSPN's Deep Doo-Doo) might make a fabulous resource for new members, or a great recruiting tool.

[billvoss]

And we should introduce mandatory GoPro documentation of the carnage as well as a copy of the doctor's note. Anyone can make up stuff

Hey, that may put me back in the running!

It was a rough year for my kayaks. In the spring I was off the water while I replaced the skin on my beloved F1. Late last fall I had finally figured out that my F1 was leaking because I had abraded through the skin at the bow. Of course that was after I purchased a new drysuit with an overskirt for my skirt's tunnel, because I originally thought water was entering the kayak when I rolled, not that the kayak itself was leaking! While replacing the skin I also gave my F1 a name. I launched “Speed Bump” with the new skin at the June 18th Walden Pond “Taco” session.

As I previously reported, on July 9th my favorite paddle broke in two at Walden during my first roll attempt that Wednesday. I ended up swimming my kayak back to the put-in, because I had left my spare paddle in the car. I suspect my paddle broke because of stress when it got caught in a car door handle and prevented the car door from opening.

On July 12th while paddling from Cape Neddick to Ogunquit Maine a rogue wave picked me up and bumped me at full surf speed head-on into a rock wall. (I currently plan to never ever name any future kayak “Speed Bump!”) Perhaps if I had still had my favorite paddle I might have avoided the crash. I do wish I had stayed in the kayak longer before swimming, though my attempts to roll all seemed to be stopped by rocks, perhaps if I had timed an attempt to correspond with a wave I might have been successful. The video also suggests I may have been gradually moving away from the rocks when I popped my skirt.

Thanks to Catherine Foley who said I could share it, I do have video of my main event!

password = kayak

http://catinnh.smugmug.com/Other/Bill-Voss-Crash/42899269_fSpHTf#!i=3384280416&k=PS9jrXR

I did not realize my F1 had been damaged at the time. Though at lunch I did find a small piece of loose wood inside the kayak; I could not figure out where it came from. More seriously at lunch I tripped and fell on the beach which eventually resulted in a quite painful infection under my fingernail. (That was my only kayaking INJURY for the year requiring me to visit a doctor.)

During the paddle back after lunch I noticed that I could not find the kayak rib normally under my feet. Once the kayak was unloaded back at the car I discovered a number of kayak ribs were broken. Fortunately the kayak was certainly usable with a few broken ribs, though replacing them would also require replacing the skin yet again. In the following picture you can see the foreground rib normally under my heel was totally destroyed, though some of the other ribs towards the bow are also cracked.

The following Friday getting ready for a Saturday paddle I noticed that the deck beam in front of the coaming was also damaged. The mortise had ripped out and only skin tension was holding the deck beam in place at a slight angle. In fairness to that mortise, it might have been stressed back in 2011 when the center of the deck beam cracked while I was practicing a low-volume kayak rescue which involved having the paddler being rescued climb up on my kayak and get into their kayak while it was across my kayak right in front of my coaming. It might also have been stressed when I practiced the same rescue a few weeks before the wreck. Regardless of when the actual damage occurred, it cancelled my paddling plans for the weekend, and prompted me to immediately cut off the kayak’s skin that weekend.

Once the skin was off I did a very careful inspection of the frame, and discovered a crack in the gunwale at the mortise for the deck beam behind the coaming. The crack appeared to extend from the top to the bottom of the gunwale, but I could not determine its depth. In truth I don’t know if the gunwale crack was caused by the July 12th crash. The kayak has been dropped off the car a number of times, and driven twice under a parking deck where it did not fit. It is quite possible the crack has been there for years and I never noticed it before my careful frame inspection. However, after consulting with a number of skin-on-frame builders, I decided that "Speed Bump" should “rest in peace.”

I limped through the rest of the summer using my “spare” kayak, the Chesapeake 18 that I purchased off Craig’s List back in 2009. I quickly cracked the rear hatch cover with a simple Cowboy Reentry during a NH pond practice, and also discovered the rear bulkhead was not waterproof anymore. I did not feel safe taking it surfing or engaging in rock play, so I mostly restricted myself to pond practices for the rest of the summer.

From my perspective my original F1 was built in one week during an intensive workshop/class the F1’s designer conducted back in 2010 at the Delmarva Paddler’s Retreat. This past summer I discovered that as a first time builder, collecting the material, making the jigs, and building the frame would take a lot longer than a week. Especially given that my shop was the garage area my car normally occupies. I was not always working full time, but I didn’t finish building my replacement kayak until the first full week of October.

Which was just in time to take it to this year’s Delmarva Paddler’s Retreat. Where I got to show it off to the F1’s designer, and get feedback on what I had done wrong. Fortunately, with the exception of being a bit heavy/overbuilt, all the issues I’m currently aware of (all together now) CAN BE FAIRLY EASILY FIXED THE NEXT TIME I REPLACE THE SKIN!

In my opinion, the “school of hard knocks” should teach you something. Not just send you and your kayak to your respective repair shops. Among other things, this year I have learned:

• Check if your kayak is leaking BEFORE buying a new drysuit (unless you need a spare drysuit).
• Always pack a spare paddle.
• Always have a spare kayak.
• Store your paddles carefully away from car door handles.
• Do not surf head on into rock walls.
• Do not wet exit your kayak until you have tried synchronizing your rolls with the waves.
• It is faster to repair a kayak than to build a kayak from scratch.
• You learn a heck of a lot building a kayak from scratch.
• Building a kayak from scratch is even more satisfying than building a kayak in a workshop.
• and lastly (all together now) IT CAN BE FAIRLY EASILY FIXED THE NEXT TIME I REPLACE THE SKIN!

Please submit stories/nominations by November 23rd , to Peter Brady (PeterB by PM on the message board, or pbrady@neaq.org by personal email) so that the award (a rock with winners names inscribed) may be prepared in time for the Holiday Party

Oops, I didn't do that. Guess I'll have to hope someone else nominated me. Since I really need another rock over here in the Granite State.

I may be wrong but I recall in the past, these nominations were sent quietly by PM to Peter then voted upon by the BOD. I also recall the nominations were given to others rather than paddlers nominating themselves.

My history lessons taught me that it used to be considered unseemly for a presidential nominee to campaign or otherwise promote themselves as a candidate. Their friends were supposed to promote them, but to promote oneself basically disqualified oneself. Of course those days are long since gone.

To the extent that anyone (myself included) is campaigning to win "the rock." I too am somewhat uncomfortable with self promotion that I find somewhat unseemly. However, I too love "Deep Trouble" and think that "reports" which potentially teach are very useful. Perhaps in the future we should have an award for the most educational kayak incident report of the year?

[Katherine]

Jiminy!

[billvoss]

I was very very surprised to win last night. I thought for sure that broken bones would beat my list of woes, and that in any case I had missed the nomination deadline.

First I want to thank the Academy NSPN Board,

my Video Team (Catherine Foley),

and "Speed Bump" my much loved retired kayak

without whom I'm sure I never would have received this prestigious rock solid award.

I would also like to thank the entire NSPN membership. It was so thoughtful of you to arrange for me to be the ONLY award recipient last night. Previous Hard Knock winners were sometimes upstaged by winners of the Founder's Award, Paddler of the Year Award, or Traverso Award. I thought it was very sweet of you to all refrain from nominating anyone for those awards this year so that I could receive the only 2014 NSPN award at the Holiday Party. However, I don't want to be too greedy. Next year you should probably nominate me for one of those other awards instead of having me repeat the Hard Knocks award as a solo award.

This is a fun little award, created in 2007 , which will be presented at the Holiday Party, to celebrate the club member who suffered the most damage to dignity, limb and property while paddling.

2013 Bill Harter (hull damage requiring more than the usual remediation)

2012 Scott Kimball (a rocky assault on boat hull, requiring the services of New England's finest repair professionals )

2011 Rick Stoehrer (a misadventure with a whirlpool during a rescue)
2010 Glen Cowley ( a series of unplanned meetings with rocks)

2009 Lisa Huntington (drove her car into a low garage with a kayak on top , or something like that)

2008 Karen Gladstone: (boat tied to a dock, ripped apart by rising tide: spectacular! )
2007 Peter Brady: (caved-in hull on rocks followed by barnacle abrasions on hands).

I'm honored to join such a group.

2014 Bill Voss (crashed into Maine, broke paddle at Walden, and repeatedly damaged his kayaks)

Edited December 7, 2014 by billvoss

[prudenceb]

Remind me to keep a safe distance from you, Bill!

Congratulations....if that is the appropriate response to the winner of this "award!"

pru

[Doug]

I throughly enjoyed the recap of your wet kayak misadventures at last nights XMAS party.

Congrats! Sorry you had to retire "Speed Bump"

Doug

[jason]

If this person was part of NSPN it might have been a win for the hard knocks award http://www.canoekayak.com/touring-kayaks/unbroken-daniel-fox-shares-lessons-close-call-sea/

[billvoss]

If this person was part of NSPN it might have been a win for the hard knocks award http://www.canoekayak.com/touring-kayaks/unbroken-daniel-fox-shares-lessons-close-call-sea/

They should have known better than to use a GLASS kayak.