shewhorn Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 You always have sand on top of your car.... and in your driveway, and in the garage, and in the bathtub, and... well there's sand everywhere. You get excited when NOAA issues small craft advisories. You specifically have learned to say something like "I need to secure my boat first" or "let me strap my boat to the car first" instead of saying "let me get my strap on". You "need" a "his and hers" pintail. You've purchased 3 or more boats in less than a year. You've purchased an article of clothing upwards of $700. The number one criteria for your next car purchase will be how well you can cartop your boats (bonus points if you've actually sold a car and bought a new one specifically for carrying kayaks). You own enough boats and paddles to start your own guide company. It feels strange to drive your car without seeing a bow or two overhead. .... not all of these apply to me but, I think I'm addicted. Any more? Cheers, Joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brwells Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 You don't think twice about saying "I'm going to paddle with her/him". Your dreams used to be of falling; but are now of capsizing. Instead of the dream where you are in class without clothes you dream of being in your kayak with only a PFD. (Ouch) When you call out "where's my paddle?" the kids don't scatter. My favorite: while in Florida you see every body of water and wish you had my kayak with you and that you could stop thinking about all that you are missing and that your rental car does not proudly have a carrier on top and that a "dry suit" is just a suit this week and that I spent this much time trying to come up with these goofy witticisms. Brian - in Florida P&H Capella 163 Red/White/Black trim NDK Explorer Melon/Teal/White Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopefloats Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 I'm surprised no one wrote: You find you are also addicted to checking all things kayak on the internet when you should be working (ie: gear discussions on the message boards, craigslist listings for kayaks, REI sales, paddling.net kayak reviews....) And also... Kayak events in your schedule start to interfer with each other You own kayak christmas ornaments You own a kayak skills/kayak porn DVD library You keep a supply of flyers in your car in case you find someone to "convert" ...its a sickness Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeffcasey Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 ....your wife threatens to divorce you if you buy another boat, and you actually consider the space that would free up for boat storage... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopefloats Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 LOL! Along that same vien: You're feverishly trying to sell your old boats because you've fallen in love with one you've leased and your trying to avoid eviction if the landlord catches you with too many boats in the basement!!! P.S. I get the bonus points for the car purchase one previously mentioned... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopefloats Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 ...and, the obvious... You understand this thread and think its funny Great thread - Thanks Joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shewhorn Posted March 29, 2007 Author Share Posted March 29, 2007 OH OH OH.... I have some good ones... You just happen to plan the time and location of your wedding to coincide with a kayaking symposium. The bride jokingly says she's going to wear a white drysuit down the aisle and while you're pretty sure she's not serious it honestly wouldn't surprise you if she really did. Instead of going golfing with his friends in the morning (or some other silly waster of time), groom WILL go for a paddle on his wedding day. Cheers, Joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopefloats Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 hee hee that ought to stir something up... ..and dont forget... you have sea shanties in your ipod (ladies) you no longer have a problem with going to a restaurant with no make-up and wet hair you jump at the chance to borrow "wiffy" equipment to be able to participate to take a shower in the morning you have to move the wetsuit, towels, pdf and spray skirt drying in the tub... There is no room in your car for groceries (too much equipment - at the ready) when your refrigerator's empty at the end of the week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shewhorn Posted March 30, 2007 Author Share Posted March 30, 2007 >to take a shower in the morning you have to move the >wetsuit, towels, ****pdf**** and spray skirt drying in the tub... Heidi... what is it that you do for work? I think you might be working too hard if you have PDFs in your bathtub (generally hard drives and water aren't a good combination although I have seen weatherproof USB flash doohickies). You need some time off (go for a paddle!)! Cheers, Joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopefloats Posted March 30, 2007 Share Posted March 30, 2007 I am very dyslexic! Not great in my line of work! I do need a break! Oh well... Looking forward to Portsmouth this weekend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gillian Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 i have no idea what you're talking about and it's too expensive to get a dry suit in white (or let's be honest, off-white) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shewhorn Posted April 4, 2007 Author Share Posted April 4, 2007 >i have no idea what you're talking about and it's too >expensive to get a dry suit in white (or let's be honest, >off-white) I guess that would depend on what your definition of "off" is. ;-) Cheers, Joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterB Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 A swimming pool is now only a place to put your kayak in. A vacation in Tuscany is full of nothing but regret and anxiety because it means you won’t be kayaking. A copy of Burch has replaced “The Da Vinci Code” on your bedside table. You worry more about maintaining a proper degree of edge during a backwards figure-of-eight than about The war in Iraq. You find yourself doing a websearch for services like “Discreet Kayak Storage” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shewhorn Posted April 20, 2007 Author Share Posted April 20, 2007 >You find yourself doing a websearch for services like >“Discreet Kayak Storage” "Discreet" as in "I want something that's hidden from passers by" or discreet as in "I don't want my wife to know how many boats I really own"? LOL Cheers, Joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shewhorn Posted April 20, 2007 Author Share Posted April 20, 2007 Here's another.... the fact that someone mentions "discreet kayak storage" and your immediate reaction is that "discreet" applies to hiding said kayaks from a spouse. Cheers, Joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
subaruguru Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 Great posts! How about when you forget you bought a piece of gear already and find yourself with TWO hiding in the Subie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterB Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Yeah, that's why I have more than one boat. I forgot I owned one, so I bought another... By "discreet kayak storage service" I meant the latter. After all, what is a kayak owner more afraid of: theft, or the wrath of ones spouse? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopefloats Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Found these online... -you can't drive over a bridge without looking for water under it -you love it when it rains during the week -you lean to the right while turning left on your bicycle -you tie down the boat better than you seatbelt in the kids. -your friends or relatives are shocked when you answer the phone at home on a weekend. -your idea of a complete first aid kit is a roll of duct tape -your boat is worth more than your car -you measure major purchases relative to the cost of a new boat...('Hmmm, that new computer will cost me about 2 ¼ kayak units') -you no longer find a shirt and tie uncomfortable as both are more tolerable than dry cag neck seals -you approach a car parking space at a 45 degree angle, crash into the kerb, leap out and attempt to sling the car over your shoulder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopefloats Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 you bought a food dehydrator and start noticing protein rich food in ready made packets that don't require refrigeration in the super market. ...great kayak-camping workshop guys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shewhorn Posted June 24, 2008 Author Share Posted June 24, 2008 I had to dig this thread up... I have another: The only part of your body that ever gets tan anymore is your hands (summer only) and from your neck up. Cheers, Joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rick stoehrer Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I had to dig this thread up... I have another: The only part of your body that ever gets tan anymore is your hands (summer only) and from your neck up. Cheers, Joe your wife thinks that your having an affair with some chickie named Gail Warning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gillian Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 I had to dig this thread up... I have another: The only part of your body that ever gets tan anymore is your hands (summer only) and from your neck up. Cheers, Joe Instead of finding needles under the couch in july, from the last christmas tree, you find mincell foam from the last seat repair! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pintail Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Why has no one mentioned this: the fact that you no longer notice "the pong" of stale, unwashed neoprene in the car, when your friends so obviously crinkle up their noses in disgust when getting a ride with you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopefloats Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 ...or simply that you actually know what mincell foam is... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shewhorn Posted June 24, 2008 Author Share Posted June 24, 2008 Why has no one mentioned this: the fact that you no longer notice "the pong" of stale, unwashed neoprene in the car, when your friends so obviously crinkle up their noses in disgust when getting a ride with you? First thing out of Sylvia's mouth when she gets in my car... "it smells like dead whale in here". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.