Brian Nystrom Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 This is too funny!!!-----------------------Reprint from Sheet&YardArm.Com chat board, July 1487:Topic: Magnetic needlesPosted by: The Galloping GenoanJul-10-87 2:57 P.M. (GMT)Hi guys! Thinking 'bout sailing west for 6 weeks to reach china,wonder if I should buy one of those magnetic needle things. What doyou guys think about 'em?Thanks,CristobalPosted by: Old SaltJul-10-87 4:13 P.M. (GMT)You damn fool! Sail west, huh? You'll fall off the friggin' earth thatway, idgit!FernandoPosted by: SouthronJul-10-87 5:31 P.M. (GMT)Hey, Cristobal, what's up. Prince Henry was asking about you the otherday. Yeah, those needles can come in handy, as long as you don't sailtoo near any iron motherlodes, and as long as you don't lose all yourheavy parchment patches, and as long as some clumsy tar doesn't tripover the box and smash it all to smithereens. Better not neglect yourstar charting, odds are you'll need before it's all over.SYOTO,BartolomeuPosted by: Whale BellyJul-10-87 6:37 P.M. (GMT)Cristobal, your obviosly a reel smart guy who can apprecate this solet me share a secret with you. Dont tell nobody becuz I dont haveenough of these for everbody. When you get out there on ye waves whatsye biggest thing you got to fear? Falling over, right? Capsizing, theycall it. Well I've got ye invention that will make that worry a thingof ye past – its two specilly treated whale bellys that youattach to ye sides of your ship and fill full of air. That way youcant tump over! Ye inflated bellys keep you uprite in any see! I callthem "sponsons" and if you'll just stop by Plymouth on ye way out I'llget you all fixed up for a very resonabil price.Sir JohnPosted by: CoasterJul-10-87 9:14 P.M. (GMT)Hey, Gallop, how long you been sailing anyway? I'm guessing you're arank beginner by the way you talk. You sound like a moron. It's prettyclear you know nothing of the sea. WTF do you want to go out in themiddle of the ocean for anyway? It's guys like you that give thissport a bad name. I bet you don't even wear a PFD! I ought to let yougo on and get killed but my conscious won't let me. So let me give youa piece of advice – don't go out of sight of land! You can haveplenty of fun right along the coast there without endangeringeverybody and making people afraid of the sea by going out there andgetting killed.AlfonsoPosted by: The Galloping GenoanJul-11-87 5:48 A.M. (GMT)Thanks for the advice, Bart – sounds like I'd better get somespares. And what's the deal with passing iron mountains? What happensthere, and how close do you have to be?What did Prince Henry say? He wasn't very nice last time I saw him.And to you other jerks – I'm asking about needles, could youplease stay on topic?Thanks,CristobalPosted by: Old SaltJul-11-87 6:24 A.M. (GMT)Friggin' dago, you still here? GO AWAY NEWBIE! Portugal rules theseas.FernandoPosted by: Whale BellyJul-11-87 6:36 A.M. (GMT)If all I cared about was mysef I wudnt say anoter word after thatinsult but I'm just trying to save a few lives here. Your not ye onlyone reading this tread ya no. So when your drowning there besides yourcapsized ship and thinking, "I wish I had sponsons now" maybe somebodyelse will lern from your errors.Sir JohnPosted by: Weevilly BiscuitsJul-11-87 7:45 A.M. (GMT)Ye needle can be an invaluable aide, but don't let it take ye place ofcommon sense. Ye sun riseth in ye west, sailing west is easy. But itdoes get dark and ye sky gets covered with cloud, so I always carry aneedle too.On ye question about ye iron, I don't know a lot but I can share myexperience. In ye north sea there's an iron island. When I pass within3 leagues of it ye needle points to ye island, turning toward it andfollowing it as I pass so you would think I was sailing in a circle.At 6 leagues ye needle moves in ye island's general direction but onlya quarter or so. At 12 leagues ye effect is very small. So, in myexperience, you have to be pretty close for it to matter.FrancisPosted by: Private Land OwnerJul-11-87 8:37 A.M. (GMT)Cristobal, let me ask you, when you're sailing off in the lonely seasand you come up on a beautiful island, are you planning to land andtraipse about the place? Stealing water and wood and tracking yourmuddy boots everywhere? Is that what you have in mind? Because if itis, I just want to point out that you'll be TRESPASSING and you'lldeserve to be hung from the highest ... (CONTINUED 926more lines)Posted by: SouthronJul-11-87 10:15 A.M. (GMT)Prince Henry just asked where you were, said he hadn't seen you in awhile. What's up? You two have a spat?On the motherlodes, Biscuits is right, you have to be pretty close.How close depends on the size of the lode. You remember the SaintTeresa Mountain on the coast of Africa? That one must have a lot ofiron, that one bends my needle from 30 leagues off. The main thing isdon't rely on the needle alone – check the stars and sun andmoon and make sure they agree.SYOTO,BartolomeuPosted by: PequatchaJul-11-87 10:24 A.M. (GMT)Any iron nearby will bend the needle. I heard from my father that theway Eannes discovered Madeira was that a sailor set a bucket of nailsbeside the box where Eannes set up his float and needle. He thought hewas sailing to Morocco.Posted by: CoasterJul-11-87 10:34 A.M. (GMT)Moron, this is on topic – are we not talking about the sea?Safety first – think how your irresponsible actions can affectothers.AlfonsoPosted by: NeptuneJul-11-87 10:36 A.M. (GMT)Cristobal, what kind of ship are you sailing? I hope it's not aColeman.PedroPosted by: Whale BellyJul-11-87 11:31 A.M. (GMT)It's not too lait to save your life, Cristobal. Remember: sponsons =safty.Sir JohnPosted by: The Galloping GenoanJul-11-87 2:57 P.M. (GMT)Thanks for the help, guys. Bought two needles today, with four floatboxes and four big parcels of parchment. Ready to set out as soon as Ican find some backing. Bart, Prince Henry turned me down flat on thiswestward crossing. Do you know anybody up in Spain I could talk to?Thanks,Cristobal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmfos Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 Ah, so Old Salty's real name is Fernando. And he comes from the past!! Amazing!!!!>Posted by: Old Salt >Jul-10-87 4:13 P.M. (GMT) >You damn fool! Sail west, huh? You'll fall off the friggin' >earth that >way, idgit! >Fernando Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
christopherG Posted November 24, 2003 Share Posted November 24, 2003 ...and the sun rises in the west? ...oh!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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