Frustration, Anger, Indifference, Reflection...Nahant 10/13 SNG

[Kevin B (RPS Coach)]

Well, the sea has a way of reminding us to remain humble, and I must say that after earning the third star, I might have walked with a little more of a swagger, at least in my mind. Today, the ocean reminded me that skills alone won't ensure a good day; you'll also need attitiude and energy, neither of which I had while surfing Nahant.

I'm really writing this for those just starting their paddling career. I myself am only completing my second year of paddling and only my first full season of paddling. One thing that is always obvious to a new paddler is how much they have to learn with regard to paddling skills; however, it may not be obvious that you'll have to learn alot about yourself, about how to turn weaknesses into strengths, failures into successes.

Today at Nahant, with 2-4 waves, a managed to grab quite a few nice rides. I also swam 3 times, the most ever in a paddling outing. The swimming made me frustrated, and then very angry. After one hour and three dips, I called it quits, angry at my boat, my paddle, my skills, myself and anyone else in my path. I didn't so much as want to sell my boat as to punt it from Nahant to Salem. Ok, to be honest, there were a couple of other things present on the beach that were irratating me as well, but that's neither here nor there.

Once in the car, the anger turned to reflection, as I struggled to figure out why I had been out of my boat so often. I searched back into my memory, to figure out where the chain of events had started. Did it start when I went over the first time, pinned to my back deck with too little air to roll? Nope. Did it start on the that first wave of my first spill because I leaned the wrong way? Nope. Did it start with my selection of that wave? Nope. It dawned on me that it started with indifference. I didn't care that I was surfing. I didn't care that I was in my boat. After a long stressful and exhausting week, I had nothing left. My energy was nonexistent. My attitude one of indifference. For the waves I did ride, there was no adrenalin rush, no yee hahs or woo hoos; there was only silence. I wasn't bored, I just didn't care. I was going through the surfing maneuvers, but that was about it and that's where it started. I was tired, indifferent and perhaps shouldn't have surfed in the first place. Why kayak unless your having fun doing it? I got caught up in the desire to be perfect, and in the process learned that being indifferent can make the difference, regardless of your skill level. You must not only be able to take that ride, but you must also WANT it.

So for the newbies out there, learn from those "bad" days. It can only make you a better paddler.

[shewhorn]

I was wondering why you left so early and was bummed to see you go but thanks for sharing. I'm guessing you're more addressing "energy" as emotional energy but I also remember you saying that you thought surfing was more work than just a regular paddle. Curious about this I wore my HRM today and took some data points. I'll post an image of the graph later once I download the session from the watch but... when I did glance at my heart rate it was over 170 and frequently at 180 most of the time. For me that's mid to high zone 4, teeter on the edge of zone 5 (zone 5 is typically anaerobic). Actual time on the water for me was about an hour and ten minutes today and I was just exhausted by the end. With the amount of physical energy you need to surf I can certainly understand how it can be the straw that breaks the camel's back if you've already had a long week. I've never experienced this with sports before but I've experience the exact same thing with music many times.

I'm sure you'll get in a good paddle tomorrow to make up for today. Anyhow, thanks for arranging this SNG today. After we got out of the water Brian was commenting how helpful you've been in his progression by arranging so many SNGs that us newbies can participate in and I'd like to extend my grattitude as well. I don't like paddling alone and I really enjoy the social aspect of this sport. Thanks Kevin!!!

Cheers, Joe

[brwells]

Kevin, just to back up what Joe said, thanks for sharing these thoughts. And I thought it was something I did...next thing I know you are out of the water and gone.

For me, today was one of the best. Yes I spent the entire time on the closest to the shore sets, and no, they were not all 2-4 foot waves, but I wanted to practice bracing, broaching, and boat control. So on my "training waves" I spent an hour and a half. And I also felt something different than any other time: anger at myself for knowing what to do, but then when it got crazy, not doing it correctly. Practice bracing all the time, but then when it really counts (i.e. when you are struck by a wave or are upset unexpectedly) the proper bracing technique is not always there. But, at the same time, I only capsized once, and by some sort of magic I was able to roll back up! I do know I pushed on the ground, but I did a hip snap, and it all seemed to work. Now I look forward to really learning a roll. Pools, here I come.

But after the paddle, I realized that I had spent the entire time trying to perfect the bracing, the rudders, etc. and was not nervous about much of anything. I had fun! And was angry with myself for not yet getting it right. Anger is not the right word, but when I know what to do but haven't gotten it down so its reflexive, I feel angry. I wanted to throw my paddle too.

Of course watching Bill being ever so smooth (and thanks for the advice, Bill) and Joe being able to do so much within a few months keeps me very grounded to know there is much much more to learn. But for once I really felt like I was spending the entire time learning instead of half learning and the other half scared.

Fortunately I was also able to hide the boa once I saw Gillian with the video camera. Gillian, I reserve the right of first refusal of letting anyone see what I was doing in the training waves...

Hey, are there any other beginners out there??

Brian

P&H Capella 163

Red/White/Black trim

[shewhorn]

There was a video camera there... with Gillian on the other end of it??? Uh oh!!!

Cheers, Joe

[Bill Gwynn]

We all have bad days, I've had lots of personal experience with them. Hope I wasn't one of the "irritating things" with my smart a$$ swimming comment. Sometimes I just can't help myself

Also, I wanted to echo Joes comment about the tremendous amount of SNG's you have posted. You are truly an asset to the club.

[shewhorn]

>Of course watching Bill being ever so smooth (and thanks for

>the advice, Bill) and Joe being able to do so much within a

>few months keeps me vey grounded to know there is much much

>more to learn.

Such kind words but really you and I have the same skill set from what I've seen, the only difference is the roll which you'll have as soon as the pool sessions start and then we'll be neck and neck. :-)

Cheers, Joe

[brwells]

Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence! I'm not quite sure we will be neck and neck, but we will be in over/under our necks.

Nice new boat, BTW. Now you can accelerate - literally - your learning.

See you Tuesday, Joe.

Brian

P&H Capella 163

Red/White/Black trim

[shewhorn]

>Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence! I'm not quite sure

>we will be neck and neck, but we will be in over/under our

>necks.

I spent plenty of time today with my neck under water. LOL At least my boat is multi-colored now. Hopefully I'll be able to figure out that the white side goes down and the blue side with the Chia Pet head sticking out of it goes up.

>Nice new boat, BTW. Now you can accelerate - literally -

>your learning.

I already know that when you're under water you can't breath. Today I learned that the same principle applies to going through a breaking wave that's over my head... the oxygen exchange rate isn't what I'd hoped it would be in the middle of a wave. What's slightly troubling is that it took me about 3 mouthfuls of the Atlantic before coming to the realization that perhaps I ought to hold my breath the next time around.

>See you Tuesday, Joe.

Definitely... I'm going to be paddling in a lot of figure eights on Tuesday to get used to the edges of this boat. Definitely a bit different than the T170.

Cheers, Joe

[sings_evil_twin]

It happens. Trying to be too "perfect..." Be truly "indifferent" to the results and play (you can afford too on a mild surf day at Nahant). The progression comes through success and failure.

Kudos to you new bunch of NSPNers who seem to like the rough stuff. Wished you were all there about 5-6 years ago. Instead I ended mostly going alone (which also worked/works fine for me...).

sing

ex-NSPN but certified surf nut.

[RogerPollock]

Kevin,

Oh well. You'll live to fight another day.

You're into it, and when you're into something it's natural to try too hard, which has a way of setting you up for failure.

This is something that everybody goes through, regardless of what they're trying to learn.

I lost my roll one time for a while, and there was nothing more frustrating.

I mean, last weekend I couldn't launch my Greenlander to save my life -- kept getting broached and driven back onto the sand. Talk about a temper tantrum! Talk about expletives! Kicked that boat, slammed it, splashed around . . . Fourth season kayaking and I couldn’t launch my boat?!?! This was 101 level stuff! Talk about embarrassing. Figured it out, though, learned something about the boat, which, after all, with such a tricky boat, is to be expected.

Just gotta relax. Everybody swims. And every swim is just another step toward a reliable combat roll. Success comes from practice, which is made up of many failures. You’re doing the right thing. You’re getting out, getting worked, getting tossed, pushing yourself. All is well . . .

[bob budd]

Last fall I was returning to Swampscott with Brad (aka Teddy Bear) Gwynn and I thought it would be a great idea to do a roll before we landed. Blew it and several tries thereafter. Then tried to cowboy reenter several times, no dice. All while others were watching. Embarassed. Frustrated. After that the notion of rolling completely left my menu, you know, that list that comes up in your right eye like in the Terminator.

A few days/weeks later Jeff Casey headed out (very late per planning - sorry again Jeff) from Dolliber Cove. Within sight of shore I capsized. Didn't roll up, the menu thing. Embarassed, "What must Jeff be thinking about now?"

This winter I took a slot in the pool sessions at Beverly. Roll was pretty reliable. Able to do several in a row, eventually hitting a pool side. Since then I've noticed that the onside roll has become reflexive.

This is not to overemphasize the roll. A roll does not make you safe, often it only allows you to get whacked a second, third, etc. time.

I used to think Roger was a gentleman and a family man but doubt either after his many epithets on the north side of Castle Neck.

[Kevin B (RPS Coach)]

I appreciate all of the commiseration, thanks, etc. I experienced setbacks before, so yesterday was nothing new. The trip report was meant only to convey my discovery that if you're not in the right frame of mind while paddling, mistakes can happen. My mistake yesterday was jumping on the water when I really didn't feel up to being there due to a lack of physical and mental energy from a tough week. Everything else that happened was simply a link in the chain of events leading to a wet exit, all started by a decision made on shore.

[jonsprag1]

Since you like to surf in your kayak---as opposed to expedition type paddling, bird watching, day trips etc.---you better get used to the occasional swim---even the best paddlers out there occasionally swim in heavy surf---as far as the roll goes, keep practicing, but not just the roll---My first white water instructor said something after I did my first roll after a couple of sessions with him---"a roll is fine, but one really good brace is worth 100 rolls"---your experience reminds me of an incident I had this summer off Stonington--I was on the first day of a two day camping trip I had planned with my paddling buddy, Jim. We had already scratched one day of the trip due to bad weather and were starting a day late---I had had a particularly rough week at work and at home and was emotionally down---in fact Jim thought there was something physically wrong with me because of my lacksadasical paddling. The original plan was to camp on Burnt, Wheat or Dolliver Islands near Isle au Haut and do a circumnavigation of Isle au Haut the following day. Due to the dire weather predicted on Sunday, we elected to camp on Russ Island and do a day paddle out to Wheat---this involves a crossing of Merchants Row, between McClatherey's and Wheat---a distance of about 2nm----the water here is basically open ocean to the south/southwest with only a couple of smaller islands between us and Nova Scotia. We had lunch on MeClathery's and started our way across to Wheat---by this time the wind was blowing 23 knots steady and gusting much higher-- waves between 3' and 5'--after an hour of paddling and having gone only about one mile into the wind, I readily agreed with Jim when he suggested that maybe we just return to McClatherey's and then to Russ. After stopping for a much needed rest on McC's, we headed back to Russ by way of Devil's, Hells Half Acre and Camp---the waves and wind weren't so strong inside the above mentioned islands and I wasn't having much of a problem until we rounded Hell's Half Acre and headed towards Russ via Camp Island. As we were passing Hells, a squall type of front blew through(minus the rain) and winds, which had diminished somewhat, increased to between 25 and 30 knots and shifted to the west---directly in the direction we were headed. As I rounded the point of Camp, I had to turn my bow from a northerly direction to a westerly one to return to our campsite on Russ, and for the life of me I couldn't do it. I would forward sweep on the downwind side, start the turn, but when I reversesweeped on the upwind side, my kayak would stall and I couldn't complete the turn---I tried 3 times with the skeg 1/2 way down at first then with the skeg raised--still couldn't do it(later learned that in real heavy winds, the reverse sweep to turn into the wind is not effective, causes the stern to sink and bow to raise and catch the wind--thus stalling the turn--the more effective method is a downwind forward sweep followed by an upwind bow rudder and forward stroke--repeat sequence as neccessary) Finally Jim suggested that he tow my bow around---but my ego got fully in the way and I rejected this idea(apparently my testosterone wasn't completely depleted that afternoon)--eventually I figured out if I went abeam the wind I would eventually get into the lee of Russ and be able to turn the bow into the wind and get back to the campsite--which is what happened. The point is that I felt awful by the time I got back to Russ---not only had I failed to get to my destination that day but had a significant problem getting back to my starting point. I have been sea kayaking for 6 years and guiding as a registered Maine Guide for the last two---these kinds of things weren't supposed to happen to me---but there I was. I suspect if I had been more emotionally up I would have handled it better but maybe not. Any way I did learn something out of it--how to turn into heavy winds and seas(I've been out in lots of rough weather since and have not had any problems). I also learned that the sea can be a very harsh teacher but, if you survive the lesson, an effective one. Just because a paddler reaches a cetain level, doesn't mean that he or she can't have a very bad day---My swagger and confidence level went down for a while after that but eventually I recovered and enjoyed paddling (and guiding) the rest of the summer and fall--and I'm better paddler for the experience.---I suspect that you are too after your time last weekend.