Dances with Beavers

[B]

Sorry, this one from the PSPN site was so funny, I had to share it.

B

------------

From: "Scott Thompson"

Date: Mon Jun 28, 2004 8:09 am

Subject: Dances with Beaver

Perhaps I would not have mentioned this occurrence, (which will

forever after be refereed to as the "Beaver Incident" within my

circle of friends,) but for the fact that I paddle a wooden boat.

Last Monday I took an evening paddle from Woodinville up the

Sammamish River to Marymoor Park and back. This is a total of

around 10 miles. Referring to the Sammamish River as a "river"

is akin to revering to 7-11 as a restaurant. You can buy stuff to

eat in 7-11 and the Sammamish River has water in it. The river is

more of a trough about 35 feet wide and generally has a barely

perceptible current for most of it.

Last Monday evening was a scorcher and by the time I was a

mile or two into the return trip I was in need of a breather. So I

took my feet off of the foot braces and slid down into the boat and

just drifted a bit. Not long after this I noticed a small beaver

swimming opposite me, giving me a wide berth. I ignored him

and continued my float. Little did I know that the little delinquent

had snuck up behind me until he gave the water a tremendous

whap with this tail about 10 feet from my boat. Being the skilled

paddler that I am I handled this like an Inuit of old. (read: I

nearly

fell out of the boat)

Lest I fall pray to any more marine rodent shenanigans I sat up

properly in the boat and continued paddling. Even I, a dumb city

boy, know that beavers slap their tails on the water as a warning

to invaders of their territory but a mile or two down the route I was

thinking about that beaver laughing himself sick back in the

reeds someplace. "If that ever happens again", I thought to

myself, "I think I will answer him with a whap of my own by

slapping my paddle blade on the water". After all, if we allow

such creatures to run roughshod over a kindly kayaker what is

next? If I remember correctly the Spanish/American War was

started over a similar incident. (I could be a little off

here-history

is not my strong suit)

Well, being taught that a good kayaker should always practice

his or her skill set in calm conditions I thought that I should give

a good slap or two. I raised my paddle and brought the blade

down quick emitting a satisfying crack on the water. That was so

nice that I thought I would give it another one for good measure.

As soon as the blade hit the water the second time the world's

largest beaver, about the size of a manatee, came charging out

of the bushes that line the river toward my beloved wooden boat.

Like a scene from Jaws!

I don't, or at least I didn't up until that time, have any irrational

fear

of beavers but anything charging at you suddenly from a blind 20

feet away can cause you to pause. (read: need to change your

wetsuit)

Well I believe that the behemoth of beavers must have thought

initially that I was a rival come to give him the business. Once he

was within 10 feet of my boat he realized that I was not worth the

trouble, did a U-turn and let me go on my way. And I, with a bit of

an adrenaline rush, did just that.