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SNG 9/13 Wed. Forest River Park Salem


Kevin B (RPS Coach)

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Two questions...

1) Any other put ins close by that are free* (weekday parking is $10... not that I care too much but if there's something else close by, I'll take it).

* If the "close by" involves walking through knee deep mud (not that I mind that too much either) $10 would be money well spent.

2) Where the heck is this place? It's apparently obvious to me that it exists, it's all over Google BUT... I can't for the life of me pull up an address

3) OK... there's a 3rd question. Do I need to bring a broomstick?

4) 4th question... there are 4 questions! If I float will I be burned at the stake?

That's all the bad Salem humor for tonight (thank you, I'll be here all night (you can all groan and roll your eyes now) :-) ).

Cheers, Joe

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>Two questions...

>

>1) Any other put ins close by that are free* (weekday

>parking is $10... not that I care too much but if there's

>something else close by, I'll take it).

Parking is now free for everyone. They "sweep" away the fees after Labor Day. :)

>2) Where the heck is this place? It's apparently obvious to

>me that it exists, it's all over Google BUT... I can't for

>the life of me pull up an address

Follow rt 114 towards Marblehead and then take a left at the lights at Salem State College. Follow the road to the park. You could also just twitch your nose to get there ;)

>3) OK... there's a 3rd question. Do I need to bring a

>broomstick?

We have plenty of extras for everyone...

>4) 4th question... there are 4 questions! If I float will I

>be burned at the stake?

Monty's response would be:

Villager: We have found a witch, may we burn her?

Crowd: BURN!! BUUUURN HER!

Bedevere: But how do you *know* she is a witch?

Villager: She looks like one!

Other Villagers: Yeah! She looks like one!!!

Bedevere: Bring her forward.

(a young woman is pushed through the crowd of villagers to the platform. She

is dressed all in black, has a carrot tied around her face on top of her nose,

and a black paper hat on her head. She talks funny because her nose is

closed by the carrot.)

Witch: I'm not a witch, I'm not a witch!

Bedevere: Er,...but you are dressed as one.

Witch: THEY dressed me up like this.

Villagers: No! nooo! We didn't! We didn't!

Witch: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one!

(Bedevere lifts up the carrot to reveal the woman's real nose, which is in

fact rather small.)

Bedevere: Well?

One Villager: Well, we did do the nose.

Bedevere: The nose?

Villager: And the Hat. But she's a witch!

Villagers: Yeah! Burn her! Burn! Burn her!

Bedevere: Did you dress her up like this?

Villagers: NO! No, no, no, no, no, no...

One Villager: yes.

Villagers: yes. yes. yes. A bit. yes. a bit. a bit.

Another Villager: (hopefully) She has got a wart...

Bedevere: What makes you think she is a witch?

Villager: Well, She turned me into a newt!!

(pause)

Bedevere: a newt?

(long pause)

Villager: I got better...

Villagers: BURN HER anyway! BURN! BURN! BURN HER!

Bedevere: Quiet, quiet, quiet, QUIETA There are ways of *telling* whether she

is a witch!

Villagers: Are there? What? Tell us, then! Tell us!

Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?

V: BUUUURN!!!!! BUUUUUURRRRNN!!!!! You BURN them!!!! BURN!!

Bedevere: And what do you burn apart from witches?

Villager: More Witches!

Other Villager: Wood.

Bedevere: So. Why do witches burn?

(long silence)

(shuffling of feet by the villagers)

Villager: (tentatively) Because they're made of.....wood?

Bedevere: Goooood!

Other Villagers: oh yeah... oh....

Bedevere: So. How do we tell whether she is made of wood?

One Villager: Build a bridge out of 'er!

Bedevere: Aah. But can you not also make bridges out of stone?

Villagers: oh yeah. oh. umm...

Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?

One Villager: No! No, no, it floats!

Other Villager: Throw her into the pond!

Villagers: yaaaaaa!

(when order is restored)

Bedevere: What also floats in water?

Villager: Bread!

Another Villager: Apples!

Another Villager: Uh...very small rocks!

Another Villager: Cider!

Another Villager: Uh...great gravy!

Another Villager: Cherries!

Another Villager: Mud!

Another Villager: Churches! Churches!

Another Villager: Lead! Lead!

King Arthur: A Duck!

Villagers: (in amazement) ooooooh!

Bedevere: exACTly!

Bedevere: (to a villager) So, *logically*...

Villager: (very slowly, with pauses between each word)

If...she...weighs the same as a duck......she's made of wood.

Bedevere: and therefore...

(pause)

Villager: A Witch!

All Villagers: A WITCH!

or for those who like the multimedia version:

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OK... so I can borrow the broom but I need to bring a duck (which is a migratory bird by the way, I still don't think that a duck could carry a 1 pound cocnut though)?

Cheers, Joe

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I know ducks, I grew up around ducks. WRT carrying a coconut that duck is not going to cut it because that duck has a high cholesterol level and probably doesn't get enough exercise. I recognize her from the Burger King on Paugus Bay at Lake Winnepesaukee. Her diet primarily consists of french fries. (OK, I admit... that's a pretty fowl attempt at humor).

Cheers, Joe

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This thread quacks me up. (and BTW... we found ducks at the put in)

Cheers, Joe

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